How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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