he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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