How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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