I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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