In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
