She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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