Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
