Ambien. No doubt about it.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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