You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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