I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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