I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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