i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
my liver is dry heaving
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
