I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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