Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
worst night to have a conscience
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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