Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
