Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
