hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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