I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
