Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
