Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
