Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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