My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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