omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
