STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
