She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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