It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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