Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
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The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
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I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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