I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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