yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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