drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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