Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
