all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
