so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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