just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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