Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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