I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
