a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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