She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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