i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
