I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize