OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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