How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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