i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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