yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
