all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just found puke in my bra..
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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