Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
