My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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