i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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