Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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