i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize