I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
