Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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