party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize