we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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