just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
