I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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