I think I am morally bankrupt
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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