Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
