Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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