we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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