I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
