Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
