The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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