Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
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Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
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The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
There's even glitter on my cock...
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