Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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